How nice to be like my friend Jamie (Diary) By Karl Whitney The Guardian, Tuesday 8th February 2000 - - - - To real people, students may seem lazy, excessively stupid and downright unhygienic. But don't let that image fool you, a lot of them actually are. I say "them" because obviously I'm not one of that stinky rabble. That's what I said to myself the other morning as I clawed my way out of bed through masses of soiled clothes and stepped in two unfinished bowls of breakfast cereal. There was still milk in them, and the corn flakes hadn't cemented to the porcelain yet. I subsequently gathered 100 pennies together - for the bus, you know - and stumbled out the door, tying a length of electrical cord (from a kettle, I think) around the waist of my oversized trousers. I felt an icy cool breeze blow on my back, alerting me to the fact that I wasn't wearing a jumper. Or, indeed, a shirt or any other garment to cover my top half. Half naked was all I was, and the top half, too, not the worst thing that could have happened to me. I ran back to the house and climbed through the broken window, the result of playing indoor golf with a nine iron we'd found in a skip. That was nearly three months ago, but it gave us an excuse to lose our keys without the hassle of trying to force the front door open with wire clothes hangers and the like. Later on that day I met Jamie, a friend of mine who can easily afford to live like a human being but chooses to live like a student. He "fetishises" poverty, and believes that living in a draughty two foot by four foot hovel, in the company of several rodents and some dry rot, will stand him in good stead when he's installed as the head of a multinational corporation. "I'll never forget where I came from," he announces one night in a particularly seedy bar he chooses to frequent. His father's a multi-millionaire who may or may not own a television station or nine. He has the luxury of forgetting where he comes from, but some of us don't have that option. 'Tis a miserable existence, so 'tis. • Karl Whitney studies English and history at University College, Dublin. To read this piece on the Guardian site click here -------- Journalism | Stories | Home | About